It's a Gleeful Life
by LoneGambit
Summary: Santana gets the chance to reexamine some things in her life, including the potential for rekindling her relationship with Brittany as well as their love for each other. Based around alternate Glee Christmas episode. BRITTANA. #HOLYSMU. Holiday smut filled three-shot.
1. Part 1: Remembering the Past

Welcome (again) to **The Brittana Fandom's Jolly Holiday Smut-tacular**!

This piece here will be the first of two total entries of mine for **Swinging Cloud's** brilliant holiday smut project.

If you haven't already checked out **BetTheDuckisInTheHat**'s story for the project titled "**The Werewolf and the Witch: Holiday Edition**" I recommend it. It's a beautiful and adorable Brittana Christmas story. And don't forget to check out the **#HOLYSMU** tag on Tumblr or mine (**lonegambit**) or Cloud's (**xandylytex**) page for more smutty holiday Brittana stories!

Hope you enjoy!

**Part 1: Remembering the Past**

I'm more thankful than ever to be out of the frigid New York cold as I stumble into the loft that dear Hummelberry somehow managed to procure in the Bushwick, New York area. I don't know how they actually managed to do it, but the loft is big, and dry, and warm so I'm going to put my innate desires to figure that out on hold for a second.

At least until I can clear my head and relax in a nice bath, maybe attempt to dispel the other holiday thoughts that are racing around in my mind.

Like the fact that it's close to Christmas and instead of spending it in Lima with Brittany like I always have, like I really want to, I've blown half the money my mami gave me, to follow my dreams, on clothes and gifts and high tailed it to New York City to avoid all previously partaken Christmas traditions at all costs.

After all, what's left of traditions if I don't have the one girl in the world that I'm meant to partake in them with?

I told that little girl at Santa's house in the mall, the one that looked just like a little Brittany S. Pierce, that the reason I was there was because my girlfriend had dumped me. Even if I know that's not the truth. I was too scared to stay and fight for Brittany, and I thought I was doing the right thing by letting her go, but now the only thing I feel is absolutely wrong.

Not to mention the fact that there's a hole the size of the North Pole gaping from my bleeding heart.

It's been two months since I spoke those damn words "This isn't an official break-up" and I chose to sing a love song to the girl of my dreams, moments before I confirmed that what we had wasn't working out and we couldn't be together. It's been three weeks since I last saw her face and even then it still held the same sadness that I'd seen on that last day in the choir room.

And that's the last thing that I ever wanted for Brittany.

I toss my Santa hat off towards the sofa area and start to slip out of the rest of my sexy green elf costume, discarding the pieces randomly around the loft as I make my way towards the bathroom. A bubble bath and a glass of wine sure sounds like it could do wonders for my broken heart right now. There's nothing else for me to do, and I'm certainly not in the holiday spirit.

It's night's like this, when the snow is falling is big bright colored snowflakes, littering the streets with sentimental holiday value and invoking that white Christmas spirit that always reminds me of times back in Lima. How on a night like tonight, Brittany and I would be curled up on her couch in the den, sipping hot chocolate and watching the beginning sequence of _It's a Wonderful Life_.

It's a classic for sure, over 60 years our senior, but Brittany always held a soft spot for it, and even though it'd be a sparse thing for me to admit it, I enjoyed it to. Especially the way that Brittany would light up as she watched George Bailey run through the details of his life. Learning from his past and present on how him being in the world, and touching everyone that he met, was truly a gift to the small town of Bedford Falls.

There's just something so ironic about the fact that I'm somewhere in New York, where the fictional town was located, and Brittany isn't here to share that with me.

The water is set, the bubbles are ready, and the wine is poured.

I try to avoid glancing at my phone. I don't know if I could handle_ not_ seeing a text from Brittany, and I don't know if I could handle it either. I set an alarm on my phone, programming it to a bell ring for when my soaking period is up, just in case I fall asleep or time slips away for…other reasons, before I slide into the water.

It's not very long before I feel my eyelids drooping closed thanks to the wonderful warmth of the water. Sadly a loud knocking on the loft door interrupts my brief moment of bliss and forgetfulness and my eyes find themselves being wrenched open and peeved.

I wait and listen, hoping the knocking will go away but instead it builds in crescendo until I can't take it anymore. I stand from the tub and slosh out of it, taking a moment to wrap a robe around me before I literally stomp my way the distance from the bathroom to the door.

Whoever's on the other end is about to face the wrath of a seriously pissed off Snix.

Wrenching the door open I'm dead set on giving the assholes who've been knocking a piece of my mind when I find that no one is there. Or at least that's what I think. As it turns out, they're just not at my height level.

"Hello."

A voice beckons my eyes to tilt down and immediately go wide when I spot a little blonde girl standing before me. For a second my heart flips in recognition, before I realize how crazy I must be for actually think a young Brittany S. Pierce is really standing on my figurative doorstep.

It's more than likely the little girl from the mall has somehow randomly stalked me. I'm about to ask if she's lost when it happens.

She giggles and my mind reels at the possibilities. That giggle is an exact copy of the one I can distinctly remember coming out of Brittany's mouth when we were younger.

Then something else happens.

The little girl circles her pinkie finger around my own and tugs on it.

"Come on San, we don't want to be late!" her voice holds that same bright enthusiasm that has never faltered in Brittany. Even the light contact on my finger gives me a jolt of familiarity and before I know it I'm being tugged into the hallway.

I follow for a few steps without a care, until I realize that I'm am far too underdressed to be going anywhere outside of the loft, let alone outside in the cold.

"Wait!" I exclaim and the little girl's grip slips from my own and she stares up at me from a few feet away.

That's when I realize, quite shockingly, that I am in fact already dressed in a set of my very comfortable, and extremely warm and cozy, winter clothes.

Now when the hell did that happen? And what the McKinley Cheerios is going on?

I'm having more of an internal panic than Sue did when someone, not naming names-Quinn, misplaced her prized iron tablets.

A giggle down the hall draws me back to reality and I look up to find a blonde head of hair disappearing through the door to the stairwell.

"Hey! Wait!"

I quickly run after her and reach the door not giving it a second thought as I wrench it open and dive through. I'm hoping that I haven't lost the little girl I feel somewhat responsible for, and who I'd really like to know a little more about.

But if I thought what happened thirty seconds ago was strange, then I just stepped into the Twilight Zone.

Before me instead of a stairwell, I am suddenly standing outside of my childhood home. The one my parents lived in before we moved to the other side of the neighborhood to be closer to my abuela's house. The one that was that was only across the street and two houses down from the Pierce's.

From Brittany's house.

And low and behold only a few short steps away is the little girl that showed up at the loft doorstep back in New York City, looking more than ever the picture of a young Brittany S. Pierce, a seven-year-old Brittany to be precise.

I would remember because it was the same year that we really became the best of friends, inseparable from each other from one particular moment on.

I take slow steps towards her, afraid she might bolt again, but she remains where she's standing even going as far as giving me a patented Brittany giggle when I get within reaching range.

"Are you…?" I trail off but still she nods as if she knows what I'm talking about, "How did we get here? What's going on?"

Young Brittany simply offers me a smile and holds her pinkie out again, "Come on San, we don't want to be late." She tells me before tugging on my hand so we can cross the light snow dusted road.

We get closer to the house that I distinctly remember as the Pierce's due to the brightly colored yellow paint that litters the exterior and the even quirkier colored periwinkle blue door. It's hard to forget a house like. The closer we get, the more and more I feel so surreal about the whole situation.

Something in the back of my mind tells me that this is way more than just formally familiar. This is some heavy memory type stuff, but I haven't figured out the point of it all yet.

I don't have to wait long for my answer.

"Do you remember?" little Brittany inquires as we come to a stop on the edge of her parent's driveway. I glance down and see that same curious twinkling blue that I will never ever forget in all of my life looking up at me.

I swallow and open my mouth to reply but other voices cut me off.

"What do you think you're doing out here Pierce?"

"Yeah, aren't your parents afraid you won't know how to get back home."

I haven't heard these particular voices in ages, but I'd recognize them anywhere. Swirling around I find a seven-year-old Noah Puckerman and an eight-year-old Finn Hudson walking our way.

I'm about to utter a retort, willing myself to say something that's at least marginally appropriate for a seven-year-old to hear when yet another voice speaks up from behind me.

"Why doncha mind your own business, she can do whatever she wants."

I'm not exactly shocked to be looking at my seven-year-old self but it's definitely a bizarre occurrence. I'd forgotten that a little over five months before this particular moment, my parents had relocated us from Nevada to Lima.

I'd met Brittany S. Pierce the second day I was in town, and we'd quickly become friends when we realized we lived close to each other.

"What're you gonna do about it Lopez?"

What I did about it was throw a heavily packed snowball to his face before proceeding to kick him and Finn in the shins and laugh as they stumbled away whining and threatening to tell their mom's on me. It was the last time either of them bothered Brittany for the rest of winter break.

Watching it all happen again doesn't make it any less funny.

When I turn back to my younger self and young Brittany, I'm reminded why from that day forward I always promised to protect her, the girl that would be my best friend and eventually turn into the love of my life.

Even back then she had me captivated with her sparkling blue eyes and soft pink lips, especially from the moment she pressed them against my cold painted cheek in thank you. Despite the below freezing temperature surrounding us, my cheeks flushed a burning hot red the second her lips pressed against them.

"Thank you San," I watch young Brittany say to young me as I intensely avoid eye contact with her, intimidated around her for reasons I didn't know why then but which are painfully clear to me now. That was the day that I really started to fall for Brittany Pierce.

I watch, as my younger self remains frozen and unsure of what to do.

I'm again thankful that Brittany's always had a knack for reading my reactions because she slips her glove clad pinkie around my own and squeezes lightly, instantly vanquishing my nerves. "I was going to build a unicorn snowman, would you like to help?"

It takes a few moments but younger me ends up beaming and nodding in agreement and soon enough we're building unicorn snowmen.

I'm beginning to feel like I'm intruding when young Brittany suddenly glances up from her task and looks in my direction, she's only talking loud enough for younger me to hear but I already know what she's saying.

"You're my best friend Santana."

And I know what young me replies with, "You're mine too Brittany. I'll never leave you and I'll always protect you."

That's when something disturbing hits me.

I was always there for Brittany, _until _the timeI wasn't.

Until the time that I left her, and even though I know that she wanted me to follow my dreams a part of me always knew that she'd always hoped she was a part of them. She always was, she always has been. I just don't know how to get her to believe that.

I turn away from the scene in front of me, upset with myself for ever letting Brittany down like that and am surprised to come face to face with Dave Karofsky.

"You didn't leave her Santana, not really."

I blink once, unsure of if I heard his words right. He chuckles slightly and nods.

"Yes I know what you're thinking but it's not the truth."

How can it not be though? And besides what could he possibly know about it?

"But I did, she said so." I tell him, still unsure of why he's standing before me, or rather how he got here in this little Twilight Zone bubble. "I left her. I told her I never would and I left her. And now all I can think about is what if she doesn't love me anymore?"

Dave takes a step forward and uncharacteristically pats me on the back, "It's not about you leaving her Santana, and I'm more than certain that she knows just how much you love her."

"But how? She wanted me back and I…I told her no. Not because I didn't want her back but because I thought that we wouldn't be able to handle the distance. Now she's probably forgotten all about that, and I don't blame her."

"She hasn't. Do you want to know how I know that?"

I manage to glance up at Dave, my old beard of a boyfriend, and find him smiling. Slowly I nod and he bobs his head in return before he holds out what looks like a white cotton T-shirt.

As I take it in my hands he motions for me to follow after him as he walks towards the periwinkle blue door of the Pierce house, "Come on then, I'll show you."

I shouldn't be surprised that when he opens the door and I follow through we suddenly end up somewhere very different from where we were before. It also doesn't surprise me that the place we end up in is a hallway of McKinley High. I'm about to ask what the hell we're doing here when the voice that I cherish most in the world suddenly calls out from down the hall.

"San wait!"

For a second when I turn to find an older, junior year, Brittany staring in my direction, I think that somehow this weird Twilight Zone spell I'm under has disappeared and she can see me, until my own seventeen-year-old self speaks up from somewhere behind me.

"I'm sorry Britt, I didn't…I'm sorry." I hear myself say, my eyes casting to the tiled floor as Brittany jogs in my direction.

"Don't worry, they can't see us." Dave whispers to me in reassurance and I'm partially glad because I remember this moment and it feels awkward being here spying on it even though I was half of the party involved when it actually happened. At the same time though, I'm glad I get to re watch the moment.

It was right after Glee Club's Born This Way performance, when Brittany had told me precisely that 'obviously I didn't love me as much as she did or else I'd put the shirt on and dance with her'.

I'd shown up at Glee club's performance, wearing the Lebanese shirt that Brittany had made me, but hadn't participated in the dancing/singing extravaganza and felt even worse about how I'd left things with Brittany. I slumped out into the hall to try and get away from that feeling.

I hadn't realized she'd not only seen me watch the performance but she followed after me into the hallway. When she caught up to me she engulfed me in a warm Brittany hug, tucking my face into the crook of her neck. In that moment I vowed that I'd let my insecurities go, if only for a day or so, and be the person I knew Brittany truly deserved.

I watch Brittany pull back from the hug, beaming down at junior year me, and my own heart flips in a wonderful sensation upon seeing that look on her face again. She leans in and presses her soft lips to the skin of my cheek, and even now I have a hard time understanding how someone like me was so lucky to find someone like Brittany.

I'm not saying she's perfect, but she's always been the only one that could absolutely appreciate everything wrong about me and tell me how right she thought I was. Then again, I can't remember anyone else ever looking at Brittany the way I still do and telling her how much of a genius she truly is.

"It's okay San," Brittany says as she pulls back from junior year me, her thumb brushing across the skin that her lips just touched, "I'm just glad that you're here."

Both past me and present me smile our brightest smile at Brittany's words, the one reserved for only her.

"I couldn't not be here Brittany, I'm just so sorry that I didn't get to dance with you."

She smiles back at me, her lips angling in to brush this time against the corner of my mouth, I can still feel the touch even if present me isn't the one receiving it, "We can still dance together, if you want to."

This time at Brittany's words, my heart rate picks up in a slight panic and my eyes widen because I know precisely what happens next between Brittany and I and I definitely don't want Dave witnessing that.

"Don't worry Santana, we're not going to watch that memory happen." I suddenly hear him speaking up to me from the left, and I glance over and watch him give me a slight smirk and eye roll, "You know I'm not interested in witnessing what happens between the two of you behind closed doors, that's not my purpose here."

I quirk an eyebrow, "What exactly is your purpose here then? Actually, better yet, what the hell is exactly going on here? This whole thing is crazy. Am I in a weird hallucinogen laced dream because I don't remember taking anything for that."

Dave shakes his head, "You're not hallucinating, but I can't really tell you if this is a dream or not. These are your real memories. Things that really happened to you."

"But you weren't a part of them," I state the obvious, "oh shit, you're not dead are you?"

He chuckles and shakes his head again, "I'm not dead Santana and I wasn't a part of specific memories but I was a small part of this moment in yours and Brittany's lives and I'm here to help you remember why it's so important to you. Why she's so important to you."

Before I can even formulate a response, the world around me is fading into a hazy blur and suddenly the lockers of McKinley are being replaced with the dark retro ambiance of my old high school room. I glance towards my sofa in the corner and observe what it is Dave probably wants me to remember about this particular moment in time.

There sitting on the sofa is junior year me, dressed in (thank God) a tank top and a pair of shorts with Brittany draped across the rest of the sofa her head resting in my lap, dressed much the same as me, as my fingers stroke through her hair. This is several hours after Brittany and I came back to my place to 'dance' together.

I remember she requested to watch an episode of One Tree Hill with me before she had to go home, mostly because that was something the boy who we don't speak of (rhymes with Larty) didn't enjoy doing with her.

Of course I was hopeless to deny Brittany's requests. She's always made my knees weak and my heart stutter. I've always been completely whipped in regards to her, and I really can't care to give a rip about that.

"I'm so happy that you're not mad at me San." I hear Brittany whisper, tilting her cheek further into my lap as her eyes remain closed. From my present position behind the sofa, I can see the way my past self's arm moves back and forth as I graze my fingers through blonde locks.

I instantly remember precisely what I said next and I have a feeling it's what Dave was referring to.

"Why would I ever be mad at you Britt-Britt? You didn't do anything wrong and I still...I'm still in love with you and I will always remind you of how amazing you are."

I remember Brittany's eyes lit up like fireflies, practically glowing in their translucent blue, at my words. It was only the second time I'd uttered those words out loud to her, but they were still as meaningful as the first time.

And it makes me remember the thing I held most dear about that night.

I've never forgotten why Brittany's so important to me but somewhere along the way I forgot just how much us actively being in the other's life meant to both of us. Brittany was my rock and reason for understanding who I really am. Her love and patience was what eventually helped me be comfortable with myself as well as with my sexuality.

And in turn, the way that I was a constant in reassuring her of her genius, and encouraging her to never hold back her unique way of thinking, was what allowed Brittany to have the strength to stand up for herself until mean words were just words and she really knew the truth of what I'd been telling her all along.

I know this to be true because two days after our 'dance' night, and emotional conversation, rhymes with Larty took it upon himself to call her stupid, which led to their inevitable break up. Even though I still had a few months to go before I'd be completely comfortable being open with Brittany, the moment I witnessed tonight between junior year Brittany and I was the main fuel to my acceptance fire.

As past Brittany leans in to kiss past me on the lips a smile covers my face and I glance to Dave at my left noticing him making his way out of my room. We proceed to exit my house before he turns around and addresses me again.

"Do you remember now, what you mean to her?" he asks and I nod because really I do.

"Good, then there's just one more thing left for you to see." Another voice filters in from the right of Dave and I and when I turn to look at the person approaching, my eyes widen.

Sugar Motta strides towards us dressed in her custom outfit of over the top flashy clothes, but it's the little someone who walks in step behind her that really makes me raise an eyebrow.

"Sugar?"

She nods to me with a smile before glancing over her shoulder to a small boy standing behind her and inclines her head towards him. I watch in awe as the boy shuffles around from behind her, almost gasping when he glances up to my face with eyes the same color as my own. His skin is lighter than mine, and his hair is bordering dirty blonde, but those eyes are unmistakably the same shade as my own.

"Santana, this is Nolan." Sugar says and the little boy glances up at me with a timid smile, "I just found him wandering around in the neighborhood looking lost and I asked him who he was looking for. He told me Santana Lopez-"

I don't hear the rest of Sugar's sentence because the small boy has suddenly attached himself to my leg. My eyes widen further at the brash display of affection that I am very much unaccustomed to.

"Uhh okay, thanks I guess," I start to say glancing down at the boy who looks up at me with a smile. I return my gaze to Sugar and just barely whisper, "I don't think I know him. Maybe he's my cousin's kid or something?"

Sugar shrugs, "Whatever, he's not mine and I did my civic duty so…goodbye." And with that she turns around and walks away. I'm left standing in a major bout of confusion before I remember there's someone that might be able to supply me with an answer to what's going on.

Not like I haven't already wondered that a bunch of times.

"Hey Dave do you…" I trail off when I realize that the person I'm searching for behind me is nowhere in sight, in fact, no one is.

There's a tugging sensation on the hem of my shirt and I meet brown eyes again, "We go home now?"

I blink at the little boy, "Yeah, sure…uh what's your name?"

"Nolan Lopez….umm Nolan Pierce!" He exclaims with a beaming smile that reminds me very much of Brittany's and my eyes bug again.

Did he just say the names Lopez_ and_ Pierce?

"Okay, do you know where you live?" he nods. "Okay, how about I just walk with you there?" another nod accompanies my question before a small tan pinkie is suddenly wrapping itself around my own.

A few seconds later and he's tugging me down the street and I'm thrown off a little by the fact that I have no idea where we are, but I definitely know we aren't in Lima anymore.

Strangely the area reminds me a lot of Bedford Falls. It's homey and suburban but still has that city feel to it. For some reason, I'm very much thinking that I'm in New York City.

I look down at the little boy determinedly striding forward with my pinkie in his grasp, "Hey Nolan. What neighborhood is this?" I inquire.

Without skipping a beat or even turning around as he trudges through the snow he calls back, "Ridge'ood, New Yor'."

Well damn.

Our pace is slowed and I realize that Nolan has stopped in front of a moderately sized family home. There appears to be a two-car garage attached to the two-story house that is painted in a tasteful light russet.

"Is this your home Nolan?"

He looks back at me before he smiles, then simultaneously rolls his eyes. It's a sight that turns out to be an odd and slightly frightening occurrence. He continues up the driveway path and down the little path that leads to the door, reaching out to turn the knob and immediately stepping through, me still being towed behind him.

As I enter the house my senses are bombarded with a familiarity that also seems rather foreign. It's as though I know what it is but I can't quite place it. I watch as Nolan releases my pinkie for a second to shrug off his shoes and coat, a feat I assist him with before doing so with me own shoes and coat at his insistence.

When I'm finished he grabs my pinkie again and tugs me in the direction of a hallway until we enter into a big living room area with a fireplace in the corner and modern décor tastefully placed all around. There's a large Noble Fir Christmas tree perched in the center of the room and a woman bent over at the side of it.

I try hard not to stare, really I do, but this woman's backside is one of the finest I've ever seen. It'd be a shame not to appreciate it. But as she goes to stand up I quickly avert my eyes elsewhere preparing to explain how her little boy essentially ended up in my care for a few brief moments.

"Oh good Nolan you found her," a voice calls from the direction of the woman and my eyes instantly snap that way as my mind recognizes it. Though the tone is more mature and the timbre lighter, I could never not recognize that voice.

Before I know it, I'm gazing into a pair of sparkling blue eyes and admiring a warm genuine smile.

Brittany.

Even if she's slightly older in appearance.

Wisps of blonde hair fall and cover her pale forehead, and wow she looks amazing. It's only seconds before I'm wrapped into a hug and I feel her soft lips tingle against the skin of my cheek.

"I was worried about you out there in the cold." She tells me, her palm sliding down to cup my cheek. I feel cold metal against my skin and I suck in a sharp breath, reaching up to grab her hand and pulling it into my line of sight. There's a giant rock and platinum band on Brittany's ring finger.

"You're married?" my heart almost plummets at the thought. Why would I be witness to this memory? Are we best friends who hang out with each other and a kid that looks eerily similar to a smaller version of a male me all the time but we're married to other people or –

My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a giggling Brittany and my eyes lift from their focus on the ground to meet hers.

"Of course I'm married silly," she tells me, her arms wrapping around my waist, "I married the best woman in the whole world, and she apparently gets younger and hotter everyday."

She married a girl? Well way to rub it in future ghost person! What the hell is going on?

"So you're not Brittany Pierce anymore?"

Brittany's eyes slant in suspicion towards me as she pulls back slightly, "Did you fall and hit your head?" she asks concerned, her palm touching my forehead.

I shake my head, though it's possible something like that happened considering the very strange things that have been happening to me. She still eyes me skeptically but leans in to brush our noses together.

Any air that was in my lungs comes rushing out.

"I'm still Brittany Pierce," she starts to tell me before I feel her lips ghost across the corner of my mouth, "I'm just Brittany _Lopez_-Pierce now."

What's passing out feel like?

/

**That's what I got…so far! The next piece should be up in probably the next eight or so hours (whenever I wake up and post it.) **

**And in case you didn't know, or you were just curious, I based this story loosely off of the events in A Christmas Carol and It's a Wonderful Life because they are great stories and it's important to remember that you are all special to someone out there, always. If you're feeling alone during this holiday season feel free to reach out to me to chat, I'll share some holiday cheer with you! **

**Happy holidays and Merry Christmas to everyone out there! **


	2. Part 2: Embracing the Future

Part 2 of my Christmas piece for **The Brittana Fandom's Jolly Holiday Smut-tacular**!

Keep checking out the **#HOLYSMU** tag on Tumblr or my (**lonegambit**) page for more smutty holiday Brittana stories! The very talented **crammit** has added her contribution "**Merry Christmas**" today, and it's definitely worth the read! Plus I personally think the title is sheer genius, and it really fits the story!

**Notice the rating change.** This chapter part 2 of 3 and contains smut that you all were waiting for (or that you were in the dark about so…SURPRISE!)

Big ole shout out to **ruby-may89**, **LeighKelly, and crammit **for reviewing that first chapter! If any readers are looking for other wonderful Brittana stories these authors definitely have the works! Also thank you **luceroadorada** for your review as well! They are always very appreciated!

**Warnings: Sweet lady sex in front of a mirror. NSFW**

**Part 2: Embracing the Future**

I wake up in a dark room and instantly shoot up in panic. A gentle hand soothes me from somewhere on my left side.

"Baby, San, it's okay." Brittany's voice whispers and it takes me a moment to focus on my surroundings and dispose of that hazy blur. And then I remember what I passed out because of however many moments ago.

"You married me?" I blurt and I hear Brittany giggle again.

"You sound surprised."

I vigorously shake my head and shuffle around in the bed to lay my head on her pillow until I'm gazing at her face, "Not surprised, just happy." I say with a smile.

She smiles back and leans forward to peck my lips, "Good, me too." She tells me before she leans in to kiss me again, this time more passionately. I roll her over until she's on her back and I'm hovering over her, our mouths pressed together and our hearts beating rapidly as one. My hand creeps under the flannel pajamas that Brittany's wearing and she moans into my mouth as my fingers trace over burning heat.

"Mom?" a small voice quickly sends me into a small fright and I literally rip my hand out of Brittany's pants and jump a good foot in the air before landing on the floor next to the bed.

"San!" Brittany calls from above.

I wave my hand around from my position on the carpeted floor, "I'm okay." I mumble with a groan before rolling over and hefting myself up, glancing towards the entrance to the bedroom and seeing the little boy from before.

"Hey Nolan, baby, come here." Brittany coos waving her hands towards the boy who dashes swiftly from the door and flies onto the bed, immediately getting wrapped up in Brittany's arms.

His brown eyes glance my way, "You okay mama?"

My eyes bulge at his words until the facts seem to click and everything makes sense.

Of course this boy is Brittany's and my son. He looks so much like me and has all of Brittany's wonderful personality traits. Brittany, the woman who is my wife. We're married and we have the most beautiful little boy as our son.

Tears well up in my eyes as I nod and shift forward to sit back on the edge of the bed, my heart almost ceasing from happiness at the feeling of Nolan's little arms encircling my neck and Brittany's forehead leaning against my own.

"I sorry I s'ared you."

I shake my head, "You didn't buddy. I was just practicing my dance moves." I tell him and he and Brittany both beam back at me.

"We go de'torate the tree now?" Again I'm met with too very excited looks and if one Brittany is enough to make me crumble to her will than an adorable personality replica of her in miniature form is sure to make me fall forever.

"Of course."

And with that, the three of us climb out of the bed and proceed to the decorating of the Christmas tree.

###################

It's several hours later when I find myself perched on the edge of Nolan's racecar bed, tucking his Superman sheets in at the sides and stroking my fingers through his short light brown hair.

"Did you have fun today Nol?"

He nods through a yawn, "I li'te building the snowman." I smile fondly at the memory of Brittany and I helping him construct a snowman, a unicorn snowman, in our front yard. An activity that quickly escalated into a very mature snowball fight between the taller woman and myself that ended in a fit of laughter and drenched clothes.

After getting dried off and changed, the three of us had hot chocolate and Brittany and I sat down to tell Christmas stories to Nolan until his eyes started to droop in exhaustion. I then lifted him into my arms and carried him to his room, where we are currently.

"San!" I hear Brittany shout from somewhere outside the bedroom and down the hall, "When you're done tucking Nolan in, come join me in the bathroom."

My body involuntarily shivers at the seductive edge that Brittany's voice carries and my mind blanks for a moment at the image of a slightly older, and still incredibly hot, Brittany naked and waiting for me in the bathroom.

I shake my mind of that for a moment, remembering I'm in the presence of a four-year-old and glance back down to the on the verge of sleep precious little boy. His lips are curved into a satisfied smile and the corners of his cheeks are indented with the dimples he inherited from me. I release a shaky breath at the thought that Brittany and I essentially created something so beautiful. It's incredibly mind blowing.

A future like the one I see right before my eyes, the one that currently surrounds me and is waiting for me just down the hall in the bathroom, I want that future now more than anything.

I press my lips to Nolan's forehead as I whisper, "Goodnight Nolan. _Te quiero __bebé_." Before I stand from where I had perched on the edge of his bed and make my way down the hall towards where Brittany's voice was permeating.

My breath is sucked from my lungs the second I walk into the bathroom space for several different reasons, up to and including the fact that steam is radiating around area, but mostly because there is a beautiful blonde haired blue eyed woman standing in the middle of the bathroom in loose jeans and t-shirt smiling at me like I'm the most interesting person in the world.

Brittany takes a step towards me and a lump gets caught in my throat. She's some ten years older than the last time I laid eyes on her and she has to be even sexier and more stunning than I ever thought possible. My eyes flicker towards the tub where the surface is layered with bubbles but instantly flit back to the woman in front of me as she comes to stand an inch away and her hands find their way to my hips.

"Hey." She husks, a smirk playing on her lips. "You're really incredibly sexy being all mama bear with Nolan, I mean I always think you're sexy San but you're so good with him and it just makes me fall in love with you that much more."

My heart does a back flip, "Yeah?"

My wife, holy shit I can't believe I'm saying that, nods as she bites her lip leaning in slowly to brush her nose against mine, "Totally."

A giggle pops from my lips and I'd cringe at the noise if I wasn't being swept into blissful excellence as Brittany pulls me in close to her and fuses her lips over my own.

In the next second, Brittany's body is sliding behind mine, her hands slipping underneath the hem of my shirt and ghosting across my stomach. She pulls me back until my ass is fit snuggly between her hips, and her lips attach to the side of my neck.

I melt in her arms, her touch still as sensual and soothing as I remember but just as bright and playful as it always has been. She distracts me with her lips, running them up and down the column of my neck, as her hands grip at my shirt and swiftly tug it upwards, angling my arms above my head to pull it off completely. When her hands drop back to my skin, her grip is primal and determined, her fingertips scraping across my navel, along the lines of my abs, and over my hipbones.

My muscles clench and quiver under Brittany's touch. I feel her groan into my neck, her breath hot against my tan flesh. And then her voice murmurs in a deep seductive husk.

"Look at you Santana, look at how gorgeous you are."

Slowly my eyes flutter open and I realize she's turned us to face the full-length wardrobe mirror that's in the far corner of the bathroom. My own moan slips from my lips as I watch Brittany's hands curve along my skin and her lips press against my neck and shoulder, her blue eyes dark and lustful.

"How flawless." She husks again as her right hand glides down my stomach and dips just under the waistband of my jeans.

I whimper and my head cranes backwards as my hips jerk in response to such close contact in the place I want her most. I watch as her tongue pokes out between those soft thin pink lips and she drags it slowly up the pulse in my neck before skirting it across the line of my jaw, nipping playfully when she reaches my chin. Her hands move on their own accord to the button on my jeans, popping it open with deft accuracy before she tugs the separate sides apart slowly and the zipper pops open teeth by teeth until my black panties are exposed.

"Mmm, and you're wearing the panties I enjoy the most on you."

How the hell do such simple words reduce me to such a puddle of mush? Maybe it's the fact that they're coming from Brittany's lips.

Or maybe it's the fact that her hands are now tickling back up my stomach until they swipe over the material of my bra and along the underside of my breasts.

"Britt." I gasp as her fingers dip under my bra and push it up, exposing my full breasts to her caressing hands. She squeezes at the flesh before flicking her thumbs across my dark nipples, her lips wet as they press against my pulse point again. Even though my eyes are hooded I manage to watch her in the mirror as she undertakes the actions that are currently sending jolts of pleasure throughout my body.

The sensations are so intense that they create a sensory deprivation for everything around me except Brittany. I don't even realize her hand has undone the clasp on my bra until the straps are sliding from my shoulders.

"So…intoxicating." She murmurs as one hand dips back down to my jeans before she pushes her hand past my panties and teases at the wet heat she finds there. "Ugh, San you're _soaked _already."

Fuck don't I know it.

Just when I think that Brittany's going to give into my desires she removes her hand from between my legs drawing a frustrated groan from my parted lips. A seductive chuckle sounds from behind me and Brittany's lips slide across the spot just below my ear.

"Patience darling, I want to make sure you can see me when I'm inside you and watch as I make love to you."

"Britt_any_." My voice is hoarse and her name barely escapes from my dry lips.

Brittany's never been shy in the bedroom, but _this_? Slightly older, mature, still incredibly sexy Brittany Pierce is absolutely the hottest thing I've ever encountered. I don't even care if some part of my consciousness keeps telling me this is a dream.

This feels too damn good to be a dream.

"Mmm," Brittany hums against my cheek, her thumbs hooking into the belt loops of my jeans and tugging downwards, my panties following my tight jeans until both garments rest just below my knees, "I love when you say my name like that."

She doesn't need to because I'm about a second away from doing it myself but Brittany slides her thigh between my legs and nudges my knees slightly further apart, widening the area between my legs.

"Ugh oh fu…" falls from my lips as Brittany's hands run back up the insides of my thighs until they reach the juncture and inch closer to my center.

"Oh San, you're so beautiful." My eyes flutter open at Brittany's words and I watch with a dropped jaw as her eyes lock on mine in the reflection and her right hand dips down between my legs and into my wet heat.

I groan and moan and whimper all at once. I realize this is potentially a 'dream' but it's been a few months since I've been touched by Brittany like this, and I can't help but vocalize to her how absolutely amazing it feels. How incredibly _real_ it feels.

"Please Britt." I murmur, licking my dry lips and inwardly smirking at the way the action causes Brittany to bite her own, but then her thumb brushes across my clit and any sense of smugness I might have had has walked out the door along with my composure. I quite literally crumble in Brittany's embrace, but she manages to keep me standing by sliding her left hand around and pressing it into my stomach. Her right hand never strays from my center.

She teases me, her fingers slipping up and down my wetness and running over my entrance, her thumb circling my clit in lazy strokes. Her left hand, after ensuring I'm steadily on my feet again, smoothes up to the curve of my breast, her fingertips dancing over my skin in a practiced choreography that only a dancer such as Brittany could accomplish.

Her thumb and first finger pinch at my nipple, drawing a pleasured moan from my throat as the tips of her first and middle finger tease at my entrance.

I want her so much. I _need_ her so much.

I don't think I've ever desired anything more.

"P-Plea_se_…" the first syllable barely leaves my mouth before she slides two fingers inside of me, her thumb still pressed firmly against my bundle of nerves. She pushes until she's knuckle deep before slipping out, and at my groan of protest she sinks back inside in one swift motion.

I can feel the way my walls squeeze around her fingers, the intrusion welcome and so good.

Her lips press against the skin on my shoulder. "Open your eyes baby."

Instantly, as if commanded, my eyes snap open. I hadn't realized I'd shut them but I'm glad they're open now as they lock with Brittany's dark blue once against through our reflection in the mirror. My mouth drops open in pleasure as Brittany starts moving her hand between my legs again, her pace slow and steady.

She builds me up, reaching deep and curling along all the right spots. "Does that feel good San?" she husks in my ear, licking the shell while never taking her eyes off my own.

"Fuck, _yes_…Brittany_. Oh _my_-ugh!" _My moans cause her to pick up the pace of her thrusts and her other hand slides across to my right breast to pinch and tug on the hard nipple there, shattering any focus I had on concentrating on just one avenue of pleasure.

Not that I'm complaining.

"Hmph shit…_t-there_!" I gasp out when her fingers prod along the sweet spot inside of me and I see her smirk at me in the mirror. She thrusts deep and curls her fingers, skimming against the spot and causing me to arch my back. Brittany's hand presses into my chest and fits my backside rightfully against her front side before she grinds her hips into my ass.

I feel her fingers ghost over my hard nipples and heaving breasts again before her palm glides up my neck and her fingers press against my jaw. I don't understand what she's doing at first until she applies a little more pressure and turns my head to face her.

This close I can see the passion in her dark eyes and her fingers don't slow their curling inside of me as Brittany tilts her lips towards mine and connects them in a breathless kiss.

My hands circle around and grip at her hips, drawing her hard into my backside as my hips start to rock and grind down into her pumping hand. When the wet kiss of teeth and tongues breaks and my eyes instinctually return to the reflection of Brittany fucking me senseless, I feel my walls clench around her digits and she moans into my ear.

"Oh Santana, you're so warm for me. So wet. So tight." She husks before I feel her slip a third finger inside of me and I cry out again at the pleasure. "Are you going to come for me gorgeous?"

"_Yes_ Britt," I whimper, shuddering in her arms as her thumb presses against my clit in time with her pumping fingers, "fuck yes…I want to…so bad…_ugh_." I clench around her fingers again and Brittany groans into the skin of my neck.

The only thing I can hear is the pounding pulse between my ears and the rhythmic sound of Brittany's fingers sliding in and out of me, her hand coated in my arousal. Then I'm screaming out her name as my orgasm hits me like a sonic boom and my body shudders aggressively in pleasure, my walls pulse and then squeeze tightly around Brittany's fingers.

"Oh honey, I love it when you come around my fingers like that." Brittany husks into my ear, even as my body remains immobile in her arms and my stomach quivers at her words.

Slowly her fingers flutter inside of me, her thumb rubbing around my bundle of nerves, drawing me back down slowly. When my breathing returns to normal and I manage to open my eyes I find Brittany smiling at me softly in the mirror, her hand still trapped adequately between my shaking thighs.

"Feel good?"

I think my head bobs in some sort of answer and Brittany giggles behind me, pressing a kiss to my cheek again and stroking the now sensitive skin of my stomach and chest lightly with her less engaged fingertips. When my body finally relaxes, she eases her fingers out of me before her hands grip at my hips.

I shiver again at the feeling of my arousal spreading across my skin and I'm about to turn around and fully return the favor to Brittany when I hear a bell chiming in the distance. I glance over my shoulder at Brittany who smiles and pecks my lips.

"Nolan's bell, he's been watching _It's a Wonderful Life_ so much you know he's obsessed with it." She tells me and my eyes must soften in recognition because she clears her throat and puts on her best Zuzu voice, "Every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings."

What is that mushy feeling inside my chest? Oh yeah, it's my damn heart melting at the adorableness of this woman whose arm's I'm wrapped up in.

"I'll go see what's up with our little man, you climb in the tub and I'll be right back to join you." Brittany then murmurs before pressing a kiss to my bare tan shoulder.

Shit, the water. It's probably cold by now.

"I made it extra hot, just in case." Brittany supplies as if reading my mind before she taps me on the ass and turns around to walk away. I panic for a second, not wanting her to leave my sight after all the blissfulness that's occurred. I don't think I could handle not seeing her again.

I reach out and lightly grip her arm, spinning her around and tugging her back to me. Before she can utter a question, my lips crash into hers and I slide my tongue through the part they grant me, dipping into the sweet taste of her mouth. She moans but eagerly kisses back, her arms wrapping securely around my shoulders until we need to take a breath to wet our chapped and swollen lips.

She smiles down at me, "I love you too."

My heart flips, "Britt, this is a more wonderful life than I could have ever imagined or hoped to have. It's almost more than I think I deserve."

"Oh San, it's definitely just what we both deserve," she reassures me with a lopsided smile but continues on when she sees I'm unconvinced. "If you think about everything you've done in your life, and everything I've done, you'd know that it all brought us both to this moment. You were always there for me when I was younger, you were there for me as we got older, and you're still here for me now. We were meant to end up together."

Brittany's words sink into me like a penny in a fountain, and inspire a hope I never thought was obtainable. "I love you so much Brittany Lopez-Pierce." I whisper against her lips as mine brush against them.

"I love you too Santana Lopez-Pierce, now get your sexy ass in that tub and I'll be back to squeeze it in just a few short minutes."

With the Brittany disappears out of the bathroom and I reluctantly move over to the bathtub. Of course once I step into it, smiling at the way the temperature is still perfect, and slide down into the suds I feel a whole lot better.

I rest my head against the back of the porcelain lip and close my eyes. My mind fills with thoughts of what Brittany just said to me. What's happened to me in the past twenty-four hours or so, and where exactly I'm going to go from here. It's not until I hear a bell chime sound again that I realize I dozed off to sleep for a little while.

The sound occurs for a few solid minutes and I don't hear any movement outside of the bathroom. "Britt." I call out but hear no reply so I slowly open my eyes and glance around. My surroundings throw me off kilter until I realize that I'm back in the Hummelberry loft, in the bathtub, and my phone's bell chime is ringing next to the tub.

Startling up from the water, I realize that it's gotten rather cold and I move to step out of it. I'm a little frantic as I pull on a robe and wander out of the bathroom. It becomes more clear the longer I search that I'm definitely in the Bushwick loft and not the Ridgewood, Queens house that Brittany and I had shared only moments ago in my 'dream' vision.

Brittany. My mind reels because I think it's finally catching up with every thing.

I'm back in the _present_ present, the time where Brittany and I are not together and I am in New York for Christmas and she is in Lima. My phone chimes again and I aggravatingly stomp back to the bathroom in frustration, swiping it up off its perch intending to shut the damn thing off when I notice that the phone is alerting me of a new text message.

A new message, as the banner informs me, from Brittany.

Suddenly my heart is halting in apprehension and panic while simultaneously fluttering in hope and giddiness. I have no idea what Brittany could be texting me about, but the very fact that she is gives me some sense of security. Taking a deep breath, I slide my finger across the screen and bring up the message.

_Hey, I just heard a bell ring and it made me think of you. I hope you're doing well even if I'm sad I won't see you for Christmas. There are so many things I want to talk to you about but I know that you want your space. I just…I miss you. Take care San. _

There's a moment where it feels like the ground beneath me doesn't exist because I feel as though I'm floating away from it due to the sincerity of Brittany's words. But then my feet abruptly come crashing back down when I also register that she's said she thinks I'm the one who wants space.

I didn't so much say I wanted space as implied that it would be best for us, but at the same time I never meant that I absolutely didn't want to see her or hear from her again. The recent long bouts of not speaking to each other suddenly make complete sense. Brittany had assumed I didn't want to talk and thus didn't try to contact me while I was sitting on the other side assuming it was Brittany that didn't wish to speak with me.

The last time I left Lima I was telling her that we still couldn't be together, because there was the whole Louisville thing and she was still attending McKinley. The last time I saw her she'd been bummed about the Glee club's sectionals loss and I couldn't bring myself to comfort her because I knew if I did that I would just make things worse.

At least I thought that's what would have happened. But now that I know what a future with Brittany could look like, I suddenly know I want that more than anything else in this entire world.

Before I know it I've managed to scrounge up enough money, okay I may have borrowed some from the people living in the loft, to buy a plane ticket back to Lima.

I'm dried off, changed, and my bag is packed when I sit down at Berry's computer to begin the ticket booking process but as I reach the confirmation screen another thought occurs to me.

Just because that was the future I saw and want, doesn't mean that it's the one that _Brittany _may want. Suddenly my hands are clammy and my heart is racing in uncertainty.

What if I go back and Brittany's already over things or worse she really only sees me as a friend and doesn't even want to consider more, ever again?

I can see the snowfall continue outside the loft window as my finger hovers over the enter button and I try to decide which direction I want to choose that will determine the rest of my life and ultimately if I have a future with Brittany or not.

/

**That's part 2 for you. The third and final part should be up sometime within the next 24 hours unless, hopefully! Feel free to tell me your thoughts if you have any, I promise that I'm a nice person and your words are like early presents to my eyes! (Too much?)**

**Whatever you're celebrating this time of year, Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas! **


	3. Part 3: Getting Those Wings

Last and final piece of my Christmas story for **The Brittana Fandom's Jolly Holiday Smut-tacular**!

Keep checking out the **#HOLYSMU** tag on Tumblr or my (**lonegambit**) page for more smutty holiday Brittana stories! There's many more to come. If you haven't already, **ishiheard2day **shared her piece with us today titled "**Breaking All the Rules" **check it out!

My apologies for the delay on this, I won't bother you with excuses but I am sorry it's later than intended! Thank you all so much to everyone who has read, reviewed, favorited and followed so far! You are all AMAZING!

Following the theme of the last chapter, this one has smut in it as well (of course.)

**Warnings: Brittana getting it on because they should. NSFW**

**Part 3: Getting Those Wings**

I run my fingers through my hair and take a deep breath.

I still can't believe I'm doing this. I had the perfect opportunity and I was too stubborn to take it. I reach my hand out and rap my knuckles against the oak door. Shifting uncomfortably while I wait, I try to recall just what exactly I was thinking about not taking the opportunity I had as I shiver slightly in the cold.

The door finally swings open and I'm met with a confused but elated smile.

"Mija?" my mother asks, as if she can't believe her only daughter is standing on the porch directly in front of her.

"Hey mama, sorry I didn't call." I tell her sheepishly, my cheeks frozen from having to walk the five blocks from the bus stop at the end of the street.

My mother steps aside and waves me in, "Oh Santana, you don't have to call but we would have picked you up. You look as though you've walked all the way here."

I step into the warmth of my childhood home, strange to think it's been only a few weeks since I was here last, and yet it feels as though everything has changed.

Maybe it has.

"I didn't want to inconvenience you or papi and I had a friend offer to drive me, but I decided I'd use the time on the bus to think." I mentally kick myself for not taking that ride that Quinn had offered me when she heard I too would be returning to Lima for the holidays. A good opportunity gone to waste, but at the same time I know I would have had some explaining to do if Quinn had picked me up.

She would have, first and foremost, inquired as to why I was back in Lima when the last time she'd seen me, I was crying my heart out and declaring I'd never return to this town for any other reason than to make Brittany mine again.

Quinn would have no problem seeing right through any lie I would attempt to forge and would know immediately that I was back to try and be with Brittany. Ultimately, she'd probably try to talk me out of doing so, which is what I do not want.

I'm here and I'm doing this. I'm going to get my girl back.

"You wouldn't have inconvenienced us at all Santana, it's really good to see you." I hear my mother say before she pulls me into an embrace. I hug her back lightly, my brain tumbling with thoughts on how I'm going to go about and properly execute my plan. "You know Brittany stopped by the other day."

Well that gets my attention.

I glance down at my mother, "Oh? What did she say?" I try to play it all off cool, like I'm not internally combusting at the thought that my ex-girlfriend still took the time to come and visit my parents around the holidays.

The smirk on my mom's face tells me I'm not pulling one over her at all, "She just wanted to wish us a Merry Christmas. Gave us a basket full of treats and a card," she begins to explain and I see that glint in her eyes that says she's not telling me everything. I tilt my head and stare at her, willing her to continue and she simply chuckles softly, "She asked about you."

My eyes bulge and my throat goes dry, "Y-yeah?"

"Mhmm and how you were doing. She seemed particularly sad when I told her that you weren't going to be spending the holidays around here this year."

I bob my head in understanding, determined to stay neutral about the situation, especially in front of my mother who is liable to burst out in happy tears and hug me for hours if I tell her the real reason I'm home.

That's one thing about Mama Lopez; she's always held a soft spot for my relationship with Brittany and an even softer one for Brittany herself.

"Maybe I'll see her around then."

My mother nods, a smirk evolving at the corner of her mouth as she turns away from me and proceeds to the kitchen. I hurry up the stairs to my old room and quickly change into comfortable warm clothes before flying back downstairs and shouting to my mom that I'm taking her car.

"Oh Santana I should tell you," my mother calls out to me and I turn around to witness a somber look on her face, "I saw Brittany out with that Sam Evans boy the other day."

My eyes widen and my fists clench in irritation. Sam Evans and Brittany? That doesn't even make any sense. I nod to my mother in thanks before I exit the house and walk down to her Mercedes parked in the drive.

Better look out Trouty Mouth because your time with Brittany is about to be cutoff if I have anything to say about it.

################

Everything is wrong about this picture, and I'm not just talking about the fact that I'm watching my ex-girlfriend sit in a booth across from her new boyfriend(?). Of course fish lips looks like he's having the time of his life, probably informing Brittany about some kind of 'alien' language he recently learned or how his parents decided to sign him up for a subscription to Chapstick for life.

Brittany on the other hand looks almost absolutely bored. There's perhaps a little bit of light in her eyes because she finds some sort of amusement in the situation, but I know Brittany and her reactions and she's definitely not having the time of her life right now.

That means there's still hope for me.

I may have done some reconnaissance beforehand, in the form of stopping by the Pierce's who were just in the process of leaving their house for a date night, to figure out where Brittany was. After asking them to not inform her of my return, I made my way towards the restaurant that used to be where we'd have _our_ date nights.

Taking a deep breath I shift my way out of my mom's car and smooth my long sweater out over my leggings, making sure everything looks in place before I stride towards the entrance of Breadstix.

The hostess that greets me barely gets out a, "Can I help you?" before I'm stepping past her in the direction of Brittany. I notice she begins to slide from the booth, addressing the boy in the seat across from her in a friendly manner and I feel something.

Just underneath the surface of my chest, my heart pounds away, in a nervous and dizzy anticipation.

She looks so beautiful. So flawless and intoxicating in her simple sweater, skirt, leggings and a fuzzy hat combo of an outfit, Brittany being the only one that could ever pull something like that off and still look amazing.

Even though she takes my breath away and we haven't even made eye contact, my senses have blurred everything else within range and by the time I step up to a now standing Brittany, the only thing I can clearly see is the endless blue of her eyes as they widen in bewilderment.

"S-San?" she stutters and I can't help but smirk knowing that I can still evoke something like a giddy nervousness in her because she does that without even trying every single second of my life.

A burst of confidence and a fitting now or never attitude overcomes me and before Brittany can get any other sort of word, sentence, or noise out I'm reaching to wrap my hand around the nape of her neck and tugging her forward. With the added help of standing on my tiptoes, I bring Brittany's lips to mine in a powerful but tender kiss.

It's so physically affectionate and emotionally impacting, like free falling through the air while holding hands with the love of your life, that I literally feel a spark light between our lips. Not to be cliché or anything, I'm just being honest, and I definitely hear a squeaked whimper escape Brittany.

After one last swipe of my tongue across her sweet as a candy cane bottom lip, I pull back just enough to open my eyes and observe her reaction. They stay closed for several seconds, her breathing ragged and her pulse jumping so quick I can see it in the curves of her lips. Her cheeks pink slightly and I feel my heart expand in my chest, that fluttery feeling that rested in my stomach returning with vigor.

My lips press to the tip of her nose before I take a full step backwards and break all contact. There's a hesitating stutter of my heart before I perceive the look on Brittany's face now. My apprehension vanishes slightly when I regard her still frozen in blissfulness face. Eyes closed, lips parted, cheeks flushed and forehead relaxed.

I find myself gazing to the left when I hear a shuffle and find widened green eyes and a guppy mouth dropped open in pure shock. I incline my head towards the boy sitting in the booth.

"I'd say I'm sorry Sam but really I'm not," I acknowledge before looking back at Brittany. She has opened her eyes now and is staring at me with a mixture of interest and what I can only describe as mild exasperation. "I'm not sorry for anything except ever thinking that I could live with out you Britt."

I hear Sam scoff lightly and I glance back his way, "You see, I've been in love with Brittany Pierce since as far back as I can remember and I've finally figured out what I think I really knew all along but was too scared to admit." I'm look back towards Brittany, her face has softened, "I'm not about to let something like distance keep me from being with you Brittany because I want to be yours more than anything else in this world I could ever think or dream about. Trust me, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and if there's one thing I know that's real it's the way I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Brittany's eyes widen a little, I'm assuming because of the fact that my voice is not a whisper and other people in the restaurant are turned expectantly and looking our direction. I step forward again and invade Brittany's space, something I have no control over driving my actions. I lean forward until I'm resting my forehead against hers speaking loud enough so that more than just Brittany can hear, but not making a complete show of things.

"I'm in love with you Brittany Pierce, and I want everyone to know that. I want everyone to see how lucky I am to call you mine, if you'll have me."

With one final kiss to the corner of Brittany's mouth I step back and give her a reassuring nod before I turn around and walk out of the restaurant not looking anywhere else but forward. It's all I have in me to get into my mother's car and drive away a little bit before I gasp out the breath I'd been holding, and the pseudo calm exterior I'd been displaying crumbles in a fit of panicked gasps.

I manage to pull myself together a few minutes later and pull away from the side of the road where I had parked, my new destination one place and one place only.

My heart's hoping that it'll find what it needs there sometime in the next few hours.

##############

I've been sitting on the front porch of Brittany's parents house for the better part of an hour, not the brightest move on my part considering the cold but at the same time completely worth it if Brittany shows up.

I notice a beat up pick up truck pull up along the curb in front of the driveway. I watch as Brittany hopes out of the passenger seat and says something to the driver, Sam by the looks of the truck if I remember correctly, before he pulls away and she starts walking in my direction.

My heart leaps a little when I see her glance up at me but then it falls as I notice that less than cheerful look that has crossed her face. It's very rare to see Brittany mad, and incredibly hot at the same time, but right now she appears to be debating between kicking my ass and verbalizing me into a weeping mess.

Both of which she is completely capable of accomplishing, and well.

I stand from my spot, and swallow a gulp while smoothing out my sweater. I step to the side as she reaches the door and shoves the keys in the lock. Without saying a word she walks through the door, leaving it open in a clear invitation for me to follow. With a deep breath, I follow her and softly close the door behind me before walking towards the living room where I know Brittany is waiting.

As I arrive I find her pacing the carpet in front of the Pierce Christmas tree, hands on her hips, forehead creased, and incoherent grumbles leaving her lips. I wait, as patiently as I can despite the nerves that are wrecking my body, until she's ready to address me.

Finally she turns to me.

"I just…." She says.

"I know."

"And you…."

"I did."

"Then you go and…"

"I'm really not sorry about that."

"And you're just so…ugh!" Brittany finishes, her index finger pointing at me in accusation and all I can do is fight back the smile that's dying to appear on my lips. She's just so Brittany, even when she's arguing and frustrated, and I can tell her anger is dissipating.

Taking a chance, I step towards her.

"Why did you do that Santana?"

I reach out and take her hand in mine, secretly ecstatic that she doesn't wrench it away. "I told you Brittany, I'm in love with you and I want us to be together."

Something flashes in her eyes, hope maybe, before they return to a somber blue and her chin drops to her chest, "But I'm still stuck in Lima and you deserve better things."

All this time and she's the one that still feels like she doesn't deserve me somehow? What have I been doing all my life to ever make her think that? It's about time I start rectifying those thoughts. I step closer, encircling my other hand around her waist.

"Britt, if there's anything I've learned being away from you it's that we're stronger together. I don't just want you Brittany I need you. Not in the sense that I'm dependent on you, but because of how you make me feel. You make everything trivial seem like sunshine on a cloudy day and everything that's special seem as though it's a wonderful miracle. You give every dream I have purpose because in them all I see is you by my side."

"You can't say things like that." Brittany suddenly says in a sob before she takes a step back, disconnecting our hands.

Suddenly everything I thought would go right has quickly taken a wrong turn as I watch tears streak Brittany's cheeks and anguish overcome her face. My heart rolls in a sickening wave, feelings of rejection and failure lurking up from within.

Have I said something wrong? Did I go too far, too fast?

"Britt I…" I start but a vigorous shake of Brittany's head immediately halts me. She actually looks like she's physically in pain.

Did I do this?

What was left of my floating heart sinks to my gut, a rush of nausea filtering through me. I guess my leap of faith turned into a hard crash to concrete reality. Brittany, no matter what I thought or wanted to believe, apparently has been able to get over what I hoped we had.

With a thick swallow to coat the dryness of my aching throat, an effect of me holding back the sobs I desperately want to choke out, I nod once to her before taking a deep breath and turning away. Tears paint my cheeks before I even get four steps away. Then a harmonious voice calls out into the silence.

"When I stayed with Artie, I was never really doing that in the sense that you thought I was." I freeze in my departure, Brittany's words laced with sadness but brewing in conviction. "I didn't stay with him because I loved him more than you Santana, I stayed with him because I knew that you weren't ready to be what you really wanted to be for me. I was never in love with him, not like I always have been with you."

Her voice is shaky, like she's had this speech written and prepared for ages but she never had the chance to practice it and suddenly it's all new and exciting and terrifying to say out loud.

"I've always known you've loved me Santana, maybe not in the same way I've always loved you, at least not until last year, but I've always known." Something about the way her words trail off in a whisper cause me to turn around, my body telling me I need to look her in the eyes when she says her last statement. "But now, I couldn't be more proud of how far you've come and I know more than ever that we can be the couple we were always meant to be."

The smile I was attempting, yeah right, to hold back bursts across my lips. I breathe in deeply through my nose and walk the four steps back to Brittany, reaching out and taking her hand in mine again.

"I broke up with Sam, not that we were ever really dating but I told him he wasn't the one I wanted to be with anyway." She admits and the smile on my face only grows.

"Yeah?"

Brittany nods, "It was never really anything more than an attempt to lessen the hurt I was feeling over not being able to be with you. I wasn't in love with him. He's nice and he could make me laugh on occasion, but he wasn't you Santana. No one could ever be you."

I lick my lips and step closer to her, "Does this mean...? I trail off and wait until she meets my focus. When our gaze locks, I can see the answer in her eyes but she still verbally informs me.

"I love you too Santana Lopez, and I want to be with-" My patience has had about as much as it can take. In one swift motion I wrap Brittany up in my arms and plant my lips on hers, feeling the way she kisses that last word into the fullness of my bottom lip as a smile blooms across both of our faces.

We part in a satisfied keen from Brittany, the weight of her body shifting fully into my arms, but our lips remain pressed together even as she mumbles against them, "Take me to bed?"

No other words, well no better words at least, could be uttered in this moment and with slight maneuvering, I hoist Brittany into my arms, her long firm legs wrapping around my waist, and I carry her down the hall to the last bedroom on the left, our lips fused together the entire journey.

With a kick to her bedroom door behind me, I inch towards Brittany's bed and deposit her onto the surface, kneeling between her legs to work on removing her lower garments. The boots are first, the skirt and leggings follow quickly afterwards and I can't stifle the chuckle that escapes my lips when I witness the panties that Brittany dons.

I glance up to her face and see it scrunching in mortification, "Oh God, tell me I'm not wearing my Snoopy as Santa's little helper panties."

"Do you want me to tell you that and lie or…?"

She groans and covers her face with her hand, falling backwards onto the mattress with a huff and mumbling something that sounds vaguely like, "I wasn't exactly planning on anyone else seeing them."

I chuckle and smooth my hands up her thighs, twisting them into the inside of her porcelain flesh before my lips follow the same path. Her hips jerk off the mattress slightly when I nip at the fabric between her legs before running my hands under her top and lifting it up her body as I go. My lips trace the taut skin of her stomach, my tongue poking out along the curves of her abs before I'm hovering over her.

"I'm not saying I don't appreciate them, but they're definitely going to have to go." I husk as I dip my face into the crook of her neck and suck at the skin along the flesh I find there. Brittany groans above me, her body tensing in anticipation.

"Ugh, if you're going to take them off…" she pants before her eyes snap open and gaze into my own, "please do it quickly."

I grin and peck her lips, "Always so proper, that's why I love you so much." My intentions of returning to between her legs and removing her panties is cut short when Brittany's hands tangle in my hair and she draws our lips together, sucking the breath from my mouth with an eager kiss.

"I love you too." She mutters breathless when we part and I swallow thickly to keep the arousal punching through my own body to a minimum, at least until I've properly sated Brittany.

Somehow in the removal of her top and bra, Brittany ends up in the center of her bed with me hovering over her and kissing along every piece of precious skin exposed to my lips and eyes.

She's divine.

The way I'm seeing Brittany right now is like the very first time. Every inch of her skin glows in such perfection you'd think a miracle painted it on her itself. I want to touch, kiss, breathe in every part of her in case this is yet another dream, when I wake up I want the essence of Brittany to still linger on my consciousness.

I continue to kiss my way down her body, arriving at her chest with a sigh of delight. Brittany's breasts are heaving up and down in front of my eyes and I'm torn between which to start worshiping. I decide on both, bringing my right hand up to cup the swell of her left breast as my lips descend on the pert nipple of the right.

My lips attach around the bud and pull it into my mouth as my tongue curves around the stiffness in tandem. Brittany cries out above me, one of her hands dropping to the back of my head where she grips my tangled mess of hair, her left hand dropping to my right where she guides my movements as I massage her flesh.

Her fingertips graze down my forearm as I secure her left nipple between my fingers and tug lightly to draw those incredible sounds out of her.

"S-San….ooh."

I can feel her ab muscles clenching and shuddering underneath me, my own stomach pressed hard against her lower body as my hips rest between her legs. I switch gears; drifting my lips across her skin until they encircle the nipple my fingers have been tugging on. I lap at the darker pink before sucking the bud between my lips and running the ridges of my teeth over the stiffness.

Brittany moans again, her hips canting up into my lower stomach, a brush of heat and wetness causing a moan to fall from my own lips. My left hand squeezes at the flesh of her right breast as the tips of my fingers collect the moisture I left there and draw circles around her hard nipple.

Her whole body quivers beneath me a few minutes later when she cups my cheeks and draws my eyes in line with her own. Her breath is coming out in heavy pants, and a light sheen of sweat covers her forehead.

She gulps, "I need you to fuck me right now Santana," she swallows, "or I might not survive. I want you inside of me, please."

My heart leaps back up my chest, her words drying my throat and dampening the space between my own legs. I lean back up to press a kiss to her lips before I glide fully down her body and settle between her spread legs. The Snoopy panties are quickly removed and the scent of Brittany hits me even more forcefully. I inhale deeply, savoring the feeling of being in this position again before leaning down and pressing a kiss to her dripping folds.

A cry from above me and the jerking of hips makes me grin in smugness before I tilt in again and part her folds to taste Brittany's arousal with a broad stroke of my tongue, my lips wrapping firmly around her clit and sucking sharply before I pull away again and scramble back up her body.

Her eyes pop open in desperation as I sit up so I'm kneeled between her legs and wait until she can see me run my fingers between my own legs.

"Oh shit." She curses.

Her eyes flutter as she watches my fingers disappear for a moment before slipping back out. I hover over her again raising my finger to her lip and brushing a hint of my wetness across the swollen pink bottom curve before sliding my hand back between her legs. She gasps at the feeling of my index finger slipping through her wetness in the same manner as my tongue had only moments before.

"I want you to feel me inside of you in every possible way," I whisper before my lips connect with hers and we both moan at the taste of each other in our mouths. Brittany's hands grips desperately onto my biceps as my first two fingers sink inside of her tight heat. I groan at the way her walls squeeze against the intrusion, sliding through that velvet softness that I have missed so much.

I have to break from the kiss as Brittany cants her hips towards me and plunges my fingers deeper inside of her, a broken moan leaving her lips at the action. Her legs wrap around my thighs when I'm completely filling her up, her insides gripping around my fingers as if begging for more.

"Fuck Santana, I love when you're inside of me." She husks before rocking her hips into my fingers again. "Make me come baby."

The combinations of demanding Brittany and the curses that are leaving her pretty mouth have me on edge. I slip my fingers out of her before driving them back in, twisting them to touch everywhere.

"You want me to make you come Britt?"

She nods and moans, biting her lip as I thrust into her again. "God yes San-_tana! Ugh_, don't ever stop…"

I shake my head against her shoulder, where my forehead has fallen to rest, "Never baby. Not even when you come hard around my fingers. I want to make love to you until we both pass out."

Brittany groans, her walls clenching around my fingers at my words and I push harder grinding my hips into the back of my hand as I rock into her.

"Just like that baby, ugh," I pant into her skin, my thrusts picking up pace as I reach for Brittany's release, "the way you feel around my fingers. _So _sexy."

"Oh-yes San…_ugh_ fuck!"

I can feel the way her legs are quivering in their grip around my own, squirming back and forth as my fingers dip in and out of her again and again and again.

"Mmm, shit s-so clo…OH!" Brittany cries as I curl my fingers inside of her, my thumb pressing down to circle against her hard throbbing clit. I raise my head until my eyes can look down on her, needing to see the way she falls apart because of me.

"You're so amazing Britt, so incredible." I murmur, brokenly as my grinding results in me bumping my own clit against the back of my hand as I continue to slide inside of her.

Brittany's face is flushed, her lips caught between her teeth so hard that the skin is turning white when I push inside of her again I lean down to nip at the skin just below her ear, knowing it will send her spiraling over.

It does.

With one more violent shake below me, I feel her insides grasp around my fingers so blissfully tight. Her back arches off the bed and a moan leaves her lips.

"San'_ana_!" is screamed out before Brittany's voice cracks and her body goes still.

I slow my rocking to a stop, my fingers still gently curling inside of her as she shakes in her after release.

Even though my own sex aches for release, I slip my fingers out of her when I'm able and wipe them on the bed sheet next to her quivering thigh. Pressing a kiss to her lips I inhale the taste of her orgasm as it lingers there, a gasp released into my mouth when my still slightly damp fingers palm Brittany's hipbone.

When she's done gasping for air, her eyelids flicker open and she smiles up at me licking her lips before she speaks. "I can…" is all she manages to breathlessly squeak out, her hand vaguely waving in the direction of my own sex and I chuckle before pecking her lips again.

"It's okay Britt, just rest a little." I tell her, settling down on top of her body as I pull a blanket off her floor and drape it around us. I scoot up to kiss her again, lazily but loving to ensure she knows that this is really really what I want.

"Love you." She mumbles and I chuckle again.

"Love you too gorgeous, I'll be here when you wake up." I whisper into the night before allowing my eyes to close in exhaustion and I fall asleep to the sound of Brittany's moderately erratic heartbeat.

If this is a dream, I know that I don't want to wake up and I'll cling to ever fiber of my imagination to stay here in this moment with Brittany.

That's my only wish this Christmas season.

#################

_One Week Later- Christmas Morning_

After waking up super early in the morning to find Brittany dozing next to me with the biggest grin on her face for the seventh day in a row, I finally stop pinching myself because I'm inclined to believe that this is really happening. I've finally really gotten the girl of my dreams and I'm never letting her go.

There was a good several hours spent between us, when we weren't getting reacquainted in bed, talking and trying to figure out what to do with our futures.

In the end we decided that I would stick around Lima, maybe getting a job at McKinley working for Coach Sue, until Brittany finished the school year. Then after a summer of us both working and saving up money we would move to New York where she would attend whatever school she wanted and I would try to get a job as a jazz singer, or some kind of singer at a diner or something.

All in all, it was decided that no matter what, we were going to do things together. To follow our dreams together with the person that makes up the majority of those dreams and desires standing next to us.

It was such a well constructed plan that even our parents think we'll be just fine. It's not as if telling us it wouldn't work could have stopped us from doing it, but it's nice to know that we have their support too.

As I roll over and wrap my arm around Brittany's bare waist I feel her stir under my touch and my gaze automatically travels to her face where I wait with bated breath for her to open those gorgeous eyes I never fail to fall into.

"It would be cute that you're watching me sleep if it wasn't also slightly frightening." I hear Brittany mumble without opening her eyes.

My lips drop into a pout before I err on the side of defensive. "I wasn't watching you, I was admiring pure beauty right before my eyes."

Finally pale eyelids give way to vibrant blue and Brittany's lips quirk in a smile, "Oh?" she teases and I nod, shuffling closer until our noses are touching.

"Mhmm, it's like I was looking in a mirror or something." I joke and get a scoff, weak shove and a pout from my girlfriend. I let out a boisterous laugh before I snuggle up to her again and plant kisses from her temple to her chin.

"I'm kidding baby, you're the only one I consider breathtakingly stunning."

She seems to ponder again before she nods, "A bit on the really gushy side but I suppose I'll take it, as long as…" she trails off so I arch my eyebrow expectantly, "you tell me you love me."

"I love you Brittany Pierce." I say without hesitation, kissing her again. We roll into an embrace before Brittany suddenly halts our lip lock a few minutes in.

Her eyes bug, "Wait, what day is today?!"

I smile and kiss her again, "Christmas day beautiful. Merry Christmas Brittany."

With a giddy squeal and smile Brittany rolls out from under me and bounces off the bed, still naked, to bound over to my window and look outside.

"San, it looks like it's going to snow!" she exclaims and I make my way out of bed, much more leisurely, to join her by the window, wrapping my arms around her waist and molding my body into hers as my lips press to her shoulder.

Outside the weather doesn't look like it's changed much, it's been uncharacteristically warm this winter in Lima and thus there's been a lack of snow. But it's something that makes Brittany happy so of course I'm not going to disagree with her.

"You might be right babe," I tell her, perching my chin on her shoulder as she rests her hands over my own on her stomach and laces her fingers through the gaps. "Just remember, even if it doesn't snow this year there will be plenty of winters for us to celebrate with snow in New York."

"In our own house in Ridgewood?" she asks, referencing the brief revelation I made about a dream I had of us living there. I didn't tell her everything, because I'm not even sure if I wouldn't think I was crazy recounting that, but she deserved to hear the tidbit of me believing (knowing) we were going to have a beautiful house together someday.

I nod, "That's right. With our…dogs or cats and whatever else."

"Kids?"

My heart leaps but I try to stay cool, "If that's what you want Brittany because I want everything with you."

She turns around in my arms and wraps her hands around my neck, looking straight into my eyes, "I've always wanted everything with you but mostly to call you my own and someday get to love a little miniature you just as much."

A verbal response wouldn't convey my feelings properly so instead I kiss her with every bit of emotion I have. When our lips part I whisper against hers, "Good because that's exactly what I want."

"Merry Christmas Santana." She murmurs before we kiss again into silence.

As we dress and get prepared to join my parents downstairs for the joyful morning Brittany tugs me back into her arms.

"By the way, if we have a boy I've always wanted to name him Nolan, that way we can call him Nol around the holidays and it'll sound like we're saying Noel. It'll be like our own personal Christmas miracle."

I don't think it's possible to love this woman anymore than I already do, but I'm sure I won't stop finding out for the rest of my life and I'm okay with that.

"That's a perfect idea Britt. We'll have our own wonderful life."

"Like a Gleeful life?"

I laugh, "Yeah something like that." I tell her before kissing her silly again.

Somewhere in the distance I swear I hear a bell chime.

/

**What more is there to say? I definitely enjoyed writing this verse, and I am considering expanding it into a few other one-shots where you'd get to see married Brittana with their adorable son Nolan. If that's something you're interested in, stick around you might see it!**

**Thank you all again for being such awesome shining individuals! **


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